The other day I was working on a blog post with the title, “Good things happen when…” The idea was to list several things that are good
things in my life, and good things happen in my life when I do these things.
I had a list of two or three already written down, related to performing music, making podcasts, being a husband and father. My intent was to write down a few more things, then write a little bit about each
one, and boom, there’s my blog post.
Then my son Gabriel happened to look at the webpage where I was making this list. He thought about it for a moment, and then said, "Good things happen when I love my wife."
He was speaking from his dad's perspective, and he even typed those words into the blog post for me.
That may seem like an innocent
enough thing for a 9 year old boy to say, but there is a lot to unpack with that small statement.
- Without going into too much detail, I can say
with 100% certainty that Gabriel would never have thought to say that if his mother and I had tried to stay together to "make it work for the child." Sorry marriage purists, but there are times when divorce is the only peaceful solution to marital problems, and the one in which I was entangled falls into that category.
- Gabriel's words validated not just my decision to leave my previous marriage with his mom, but to travail the globe to get my present wife Sana to be present in mine and my son's life. I believe one of the most important things a
father can do for his children - aside from providing the basic necessities - is to set a proper example of how to love his wife. The boys will emulate it, and the girls will seek it - for better or worse. Sure there were plenty of available American women, but stats don't lie. This is not a culture that encourages success when it comes to marriage. I found it necessary to seek marital bliss outside of this broken culture. And while getting her over here was extremely difficult, I'm glad to say
things finally worked out - and my son's words the other day made everything worth the trouble.
Maybe when I get around to
writing that blog post, I'll say something along the lines of "Good things happen when I follow what I believe to be right and true, and persevere through the hardships and resistance that inevitably follow when I go against the grain of society."
What I just described is what Sana
and I call Vojdaan. It's a Persian word that means "consciousness", going about one's life with intent and purpose.
Vojdaan is one of the five principles of the C.R.A.V.E. acronym I've been using in my new podcast called This Is What We C.R.A.V.E.
There are new episodes posted quite regularly, and I invite you to check out one or five.
https://jamesdnewcomb.com/podcast
P.S. I did tell Sana about this story, and that I'd be writing about it in today's email - just in case you're wondering ;)